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Today is Friday, and I am supposed to go out tonight with S & L. Not sure when or where we’re starting, but we’ll end up at Wall Street for First Friday eventually. I haven’t been to FF for awhile, so I think it’ll be fun. I work 2-10 tomorrow. It’s Gallery Hop, and the weather is supposed to be fantastic, so I’m sure we will be incredibly busy. Should be fun. Must decide what shoes I can run around in for 8 hours. Must really go shoe shopping soon and find some flats to replace my grey ones whose soles are cracking in the middle. I wish there was a machine where I could put in an old pair of shoes and end up with a new pair just like them. I actually have several pairs of shoes right now that I love but are starting to fall apart, and it makes me sad. I think I’ll live though.
So, summary – this week was good – very active, not busy at work, slightly social (I went wandering around with S & B on Tuesday night, stopped in at U for one drink, and saw M very briefly on Wednesday at Coffee Table). Tonight should be social and fun. Tomorrow I want to clean and decorate for Fall before I go in to work. I love my fall decorations, but I just haven’t had the time to put them up yet, so I’m looking forward to doing that. Other than that, just working at the store this weekend.
Life is good. And random, like this little quiz:
 |
| Emily |
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| "I'm often imitated but never duplicated." |
| 'What is your personal life motto?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
- i am:at work
- i feel:
happy
I know I have been terrible about posting poems lately - it's all because I don' t have Internet service at home, which is where I write. But now I'm sitting in my favorite little corner table at my favorite little coffeeshop in the gayborhood and I have their free wireless Internet and my own laptop where all my poems are, so here is one: It's a first draft, so be nice!
Autumnal Equinox
Summer is over today, and I wish
I had seized it – my favorite
Season – more tightly
Embraced it more frequently
This year. I never made it
Out of Ohio, chained as I was
To two jobs, never went camping
Or canoeing, swam once in a pool
But never in a lake, no
Trucked-in sand between my toes
Imagining palm trees in place
Of oaks, maples, birches, pretending
A lake is an ocean.
It was easy to pretend
We were girlfriends when she lived
An hour away. We tested the water,
Talked everyday, strolled together
Along twilit sidewalks – not as romantic
As beaches but still,
Peaceful, and it was easy
To keep walking, wading in
Until we were hugging goodbye
Then kissing, sliding under
The surface, holding our breath
As we explored.
Let's see, updates...
1) belly dancing - I did my solo on Monday, and it went pretty well. I went way too fast at the end and had to keep shimmying for what felt like ever before I could spin around and pose, but it was okay. I got tons of compliments on my floorwork, and my flutter (which I'm quite proud of). I think those are my strong suits right now, the floorwork because of my flexibility. so it was fun. And there is a workshop in Toledo in November that I'm thinking of attending. I've been wanting for ages to go up to BG and Toledo for a weekend, and this seems like a great excuse. I'm also getting more and more interested in exploring belly dancing as an ethnic art, and also thinking of taking classes elsewhere. I'll give my current studio a full year (which will be up the end of February) and then see what I think. I shan't badmouth anyone right now though, sorry to disappoint.
2) work - we had a good fall quarter, got everything done on time, very minimal problems, and we hit our goals, which means I get a good bonus. It's tough cuz the quarter doesn't officially close till October 31st, so no bonuses until then, so I'm still scraping by financially, but I know there's light at the end of that tunnel.
3) running - I'm back in the running groove now that I'm done working crazy long days. I set myself a little goal of running 7.5 miles a week to start with. I'm at 5 for this week, so one more day will do it. I'll see how this goes in October, then hopefully go up to 10 miles a week in November. There's a 5 mile race I kind of want to do on Thanksgiving, so I'm trying to recruit friends to run with me, and work up to five miles. I've never run 5 miles straight although I used to get really close when I was running so much last summer and fall in Dublin.
That's all I can think of right now.
- i am:at the Coffee Table
- i feel: good
- i like:They Might Be Giants playing in the coffeeshop (ugh!)
I am really looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday, and I really would like to just stay in tonight and tomorrow night. Definitely no $3.00 Long Islands tonight! That was so much fun last week, but I am not feeling up to a repeat.
- i am:at work
1) a book I want to read: http://www.amazon.com/Four-Tenths-Acre-R
2) Read this yesterday in the course of my job and found it quite interesting:
There Is No Hierarchy of Oppressions
Audre Lorde
I was born Black, and a woman. I am trying to become the strongest person I can become to live the life I have been given and to help effect change toward a liveable future for this earth and for my children. As a Black, lesbian, feminist, socialist, poet, mother of two including one boy and a member of an interracial couple, I usually find myself part of some group in which the majority defines me as deviant, difficult, inferior or just plain "wrong."
From my membership in all of these groups I have learned that oppression and the intolerance of difference come in all shapes and sexes and colors and sexualities; and that among those of us who share the goals of liberation and a workable future for our children, there can be no hierarchies of oppression. I have learned that sexism (a belief in the inherent superiority of one sex over all others and thereby its right to dominance) and heterosexism (a belief in the inherent superiority of one pattern of loving over all others and thereby its right to dominance) both arise from the same source as racism-a belief in the inherent superiority of one race over all others and thereby its right to dominance.
"Oh," says a voice from the Black community, "but being Black is NORMAL!" Well, I and many Black people of my age can remember grimly the days when it didn't used to be!
I simply do not believe that one aspect of myself can possibly profit from the oppression of any other part of my identity. I know that my people cannot possibly profit from the oppression of any other group which seeks the right to peaceful existence. Rather, we diminish ourselves by denying to others what we have shed blood to obtain for our children. And those children need to learn that they do not have to become like each other in order to work together for a future they will all share.
The increasing attacks upon lesbians and gay men are only an introduction to the increasing attacks upon all Black people, for wherever oppression manifests itself in this country, Black people are potential victims. And it is a standard of right-wing cynicism to encourage members of oppressed groups to act against each other, and so long as we are divided because of our particular identities we cannot join together in effective political action.
Within the lesbian community I am Black, and within the Black community I am a lesbian. Any attack against Black people is a lesbian and gay issue, because I and thousands of other Black women are part of the lesbian community. Any attack against lesbians and gays is a Black issue, because thousands of lesbians and gay men are Black. There is no hierarchy of oppression.
It is not accidental that the Family Protection Act, which is virulently anti-woman and anti-Black, is also anti-gay. As a Black person, I know who my enemies are, and when the Ku Klux Klan goes to court in Detroit to try and force the Board of Education to remove books the Klan believes "hint at homosexuality," then I know I cannot afford the luxury of fighting one form of oppression only. I cannot afford to believe that freedom from intolerance is the right of only one particular group. And I cannot afford to choose between the fronts upon which I must battle these forces of discrimination, .wherever they appear to destroy me. And when they appear to destroy me, it will not be long before they appear to destroy you.
From Homophobia and Education (New York: Council on Interracial Books for Children, 1983).
Rather insanely busy recently, but wanted to note while I was thinking of it, that I am currently reading three books at once, something I don’t often do: I have my own song for it: Modern poems of Ohio (various poets, famous and otherwise), Hunting for hope (essays by Scott Russell Sanders), and Sisters on the bridge of fire: One Woman’s Journey in Afghanistan, India and Pakistan (sort of travelogue/spiritual search memoir by Debra Denker). With fiction, I have to focus on one at a time, but nonfiction and poetry are easier to intermingle. I’m enjoying the Sanders book, and just started Denker so I don’t have an opinion yet. The Ohio poems I’ve been working through slowly, but most of it hasn’t grabbed me; maybe I am out of practice reading poetry, but I’ve found little that’s really impressed me. The last piece I read I did find interesting, partly because I’d read it before with less background knowledge than I have now, and I liked it much better with more background. Let’s see if I can find the full text online and post it here….
Meh, can’t find it. The poem is called, if I recall correctly, “The Black Cat” and it’s dedicated to Sekou Sundiata, from a book of Jeffrey Gundy’s called Deerflies (2006). I picked up the book for free one day while I was at the University of Dayton for work last summer – killing time in the English department and it was on one of those lovely free book tables. Gundy teaches at Bluffton College, for what that’s worth, and it’s a poem that’s basically about looking at Ohio through the eyes of a visitor (Sundiata), which is obviously more interesting and resonant when one knows something about that particular visitor.
Forgive the choppiness of this entry; I’ve been cobbling it together a sentence or two at a time all afternoon, in between fits of working. When I get annoyed with a dead end in my research, or complete a proof, or otherwise feel like taking a break, I’ve been coming back to it.
Life is interesting right now, I guess you could say. It’s not interesting in that anything much is happening. I am so far behind financially, but I really don’t care. I just can’t care, I guess. There’s no point in worrying about it because I’m doing what I can, and I know and believe that my finances don’t define me or my self-worth. I had a great weekend – was feeling a little down on Friday evening so stayed in and was working on my choreography for my solo, when L and S showed up at my door and made me go over to A’s with them for awhile. Drank some wine over there, then some of the girls went out to the club, and S walked me home and we sat on the stoop and talked for awhile. Saturday work was good, I walked in the rain, then took a bottle of cheap wine to the housewarming. We had such a great time; played cards, then Catch Phrase, much drinking, eating, and utter silliness. The pictures are priceless! Walked up to Union around 11:00 and ran into J, E, and J – so very happy to see them, and more silliness and fun photos ensued at the bar. Sunday work was good, and I did some good writing – also forgive me not posting the poems I’ve been doing – no internet at home and I haven’t taken the time to do it elsewhere. Monday, yesterday, good day at work (cake for D’s birthday), then a good belly dancing class.
That’s it : )
Oh, and the title of the post - no big meaning, but it's a line from "MacArthur Park" which has been in my head this week. I used to play this on the piano when I was teaching myself the songs in my mom's 1960's Songbook.
Float like a feather
free fall forever
let whatever be whatever
together we all become heavenly
-The Lab Rats
- i am:at work
- i feel: content
- i like:belly dancing music
Are you careful with the spines? Or do you crack your books open to make them lay flat?
I am relatively careful with the spines.
Do you use bookmarks? Or do you dog-ear the corners? If you do use bookmarks, do you use those fashionable metal ones? Or paper?
I will sometimes fold down corners in books I own, but since I read mostly library books, I wouldn’t do such a thing to them. I have some decorative paper and ribbon bookmarks, but have no idea where they are right now, probably stuck in books. I usually use the receipt from the library that says when the books are due, but any scrap of paper will do. I don’t think I’ve ever had a metal bookmark.
Do you write in your books? Ever? If you do, do you make small marks, or write in as much blank space as you can find? Pen or pencil? Highlighter? Your name on the front page?
Again, the distinction must be made between library books and books I own. I treat library books with the utmost respect. I put my name in the front of all the books I own though, usually just by sticking on an address label, and will sometimes add a notation like “purchased in New York City with Tom, March 24, 2004” or something like that. When I was in college, I got in the habit of jotting notes in the margins of poetry and fiction I was reading for class – ideas for my own work, questions to bring up in class, critiques for an essay, etc. Nowadays, it’s rare for me to write in a book, but it does happen. Usually in ink in the margins, as much as I need to say. I will neatly underline passages as well. Highlighters, never. I just don’t like them.
Do you toss your books on the floor? Into book bags? Or do you treat them tenderly, with respect?
I don’t toss books around. I sometimes set them on the floor, but gently and purposefully. I don’t treat them as fragile, but I don’t abuse them either.
Do you ever lay your book face-down, to save your place?
Occasionally. *blushing madly because I know that's bad*
Um - water? Do you bathe with your books? Hold them with wet hands? Read out in the rain? Anything of that sort?
I actually find the sensation of wet fingers on paper incredibly icky. It makes my skin crawl, akin to the sound of nails on a chalkboard.
Are your books lined up on a bookshelf? Or crammed in any which way? Stacked on the floor?
Well, they were lined up neatly when I moved in. I have some newer books stacked up in front of the rows on the shelves, and a few books out of place. I’ll probably go through and reorganize when I clean/decorate for fall.
Do you make a distinction — as regards book care — between hardcovers and paperbacks?
- i feel:
tired
The article is by William Hasker and is actually a refutation of a critique on a previous article of his titled “The Problem of Evil in Process Theism and Classical Free Will Theism” and it isn’t really entertaining beyond the first paragraph, the point of the duck analogy being that all the arguments in the critique amount to being bitten by a herd of ducks – not seriously damaging arguments but there are a lot of them to address in the rebuttal.
In other news, I am back at work, relatively busy, but in a pretty good spot for being gone as long as I was. My sunburn is peeling mightily. I have in my possession the last two Harry Potter books and I am looking forward to reading them soon. I also read a book I just loved over the vacation: Necklace of Kisses by Francesca Lia Block. I read some of her stuff years ago, back in college, and loved every word of it, but then kind of forgot about her. Never stumbled across any of her books in the libraries or anything, then somehow I thought of her again this summer, put some stuff on my amazon wishlist, and then saw this one as I was leaving the library. I snatched it up without even reading the jacket, read it in one day, and smiled through my tears as I finished it. Her books aren’t for everyone; they’re very quirky – magical realism, romantic fantasy, liberal social commentary, and a whole lot more. What I took from this one was a way of reconciling oneself to changing and growing older, and finding hope and beauty in the world as it is post-9/11. It’s a light, pretty, book though, with moments of darkness and moments of magic.
- i am:back at work
- i feel: rejuvenated
- i like:Regina Spektor
http://www.slate.com/id/2171752/pag
In other news, I am almost done with the fresh veggies my momma gave me. Have one zucchini, a few potatoes, an onion, some of the hot peppers, and a bit of lettuce which is near the end of its life expectancy. I cooked Potatoes and Greens last night (Peel potatoes and cut into chunks, put in a large pot, cover with about 2 inches of water, add half of a sliced onion, some vegetable boullion, and bring to a boil. Boil about ten minutes, then fill the pot with greens (I used the chard I had, but you can use anything you like). Let greens wilt, then stir to combine, turn heat down, and simmer about 20 minutes or till potatoes and greens are tender. Drain any excess water, toss with a smidge of olive oil, a generous splash of cider vinegar, and season with salt and pepper. Very tasty and wholesome!) then froze the last of the chard. I have some good leftovers too from things I cooked earlier this week: stir fried green beans with noodles, and miso soup with chard for lunch today. Some stir fried veggies in the fridge, spaghetti, and the rest of the green beans I mentioned yesterday.
I have a little fantasy of opening a restaurant or cafe some day - "homestyle vegetarian" would be the niche - very laid back atmosphere, lots of local and organic ingredients, sort of like northstar, but less urban, more country but in an eclectic, bohemian way. Not sure if that makes sense anywhere but in my own head, but the idea flutters in and out. Probably will never happen, but who knows. Wouldn't be a bad way to make a living, if I could do it.
- i feel:
hungry
Yesterday, let’s see…went home after work, walked the dog, had a snack, then decided to walk up to the library. It was hot, and once again, I was highly disappointed in the selection of books; they had 0 books on the history or culture of belly dancing, and only two how-to books on the subject, one of which I borrowed since it had some history stuff at the beginning and good pictures. I also picked up a few novels – an old Ursula K. LeGuin book I read years and years ago, a Francesca Lia Block novel, and a random lesbian novel which probably won’t be any good. Will review those as I read them. Walked back, thought (and hoped) I might get caught in the rain, but it held off. Stopped at the grocery store and got a loaf of French bread, some cheese, and a can of tomatoes, came home, put some green beans and tomatoes on the stove to cook, and sat down to read some more Harry Potter. The Goblet of Fire was my favorite of the movies, and it’s my favorite book so far too.
So, I was sitting there reading and waiting for my dinner to cook when my friend M called. She was over at A and L’s house, around the corner, and they were hanging out and were gonna watch a movie later and wanted me to come over. After I ate my dinner of bread and cheese and the green beans (this is the best, easiest thing ever – empty a can of diced tomatoes with the juice (my fav are the Muir Glen Organic variety w/ no salt added) into a large saucepan, add about half of a good sized onion (chopped), a couple teaspoons of dried oregano, a drizzle of olive oil and a drizzle of lemon juice, and then basically fill up the pan with fresh green beans. Stir to combine, add salt and pepper, and bring liquid to a boil, then lower the heat to medium-low and cook for at least an hour, stirring occasionally. The beans get really tender, and are absolutely delicious. You can also add in some other veggies or other herbs if you want.) I walked over to A and L’s. We watched Peaceful Warrior which was okay. It’s about gymnastics, which I love, but the Zen stuff is just kind of blah; the acting wasn’t very good, and we talked through a lot of the movie. It’s kind of like The Karate Kid, but with gymnastics and sex and Nick Nolte. I came home around 11:30, took the dog out, then showered, and went to bed.
Today is kind of an annoying day, which I blame mostly on the weather. Must pay bills tonight, maybe start cleaning apartment, but will probably just sit around and read again. Vacation is coming. Yay!
- i am:ready to not be at work
- i feel:
okay - i like:The Fratellis "Costello Music"
I realized when I posted that last entry this afternoon that I hadn’t posted anything here yet this month. I haven’t been online as much lately. The wireless internet connection I can access at home never seems to be up anymore, and I’ve been busier at work lately, which is a good thing. I’ve been reading more than writing, but that’s okay.
I finished Zanesville but didn’t like it. I got annoyed about 2/3 of the way through and just wanted it to be over. There were things I liked about the book, but it just wasn’t that well written, and the story wandered. Characters I liked and were interested in just disappeared, and there were lots and lots of loose ends. But I finished it.
It is very very rare for me not to finish a book once I’ve started it. There are only two I can recall, as a matter of fact – one was The Crimson Petal and the White which is gigantically long and was recommended to me by someone who turned out to be a real bitch…I think I read a good 500 or 600 pages of it, and it wasn’t bad, just incredibly long, and I didn’t feel like much was happening, so I took it back to the library sort of to spite the girl who had raved about it to me. This was a year or so ago. The other book I didn’t finish was back when I was with my ex-fiance, before we got engaged, shortly after I had moved back to Bowling Green, and it was A Map of the World – I hated it from the moment I started reading – it was so laden with guilt! I hated the narrator, and really had no patience for any of it. I think I may have had a different reaction if I was in a happier spot in my life, but I wouldn’t have liked it in any situation.
After I finished Zanesville, I moved on to the last of my current batch of library book: The Dogs of Babel. This one I actually liked. It was short, sweet, and sad, and very well written, I felt. I’d avoided the book when it first came out because I am a snot like that – I will obstinately refuse to read most bestsellers or books that get a lot of buzz. Same thing with movies, music sometimes, clothing trends, etc. I don’t like being a sheep (even a rainbow one). Occasionally I miss out on something good, but in a case like this, I didn’t miss anything by waiting a few years to stumble across the book on the sad skimpy shelves of the Northside Library. It’s a good book, and I read it in two days – easy reading, not too light, but not too heavy – definitely recommended.
And speaking of that whole buzz/bandwagon thing, I did finally start reading the Harry Potter books…guiltily… They are okay. More juvenile than most things I read, but still enjoyable. Somehow my mother lost book 2 so I read number 1 and number 3 so far and just started 4. I also have 5 sitting on my bookshelf then will have to seek out 6 and 7 on my own.
Okay, back to work now!
Last night, we had our belly dancing “graduation party”…we have finished our 3rd 8 week session and are no longer considered “baby dancers”. We don’t have to wear all black anymore and can start auditing other classes. It’s exciting. One of the girls in my class ended up sitting out the second half of class because she hurt her foot recently and it was bothering her, and she was telling me afterward how cool it was to watch the rest of us and to see how far we’ve progressed since we started. I’ve been thinking lately that I really wish I could videotape myself dancing at home so I could analyze it. I don’t have a wall of mirrors at home so I can’t see myself and it’s hard to know what I’m doing right and what I’m doing wrong. I may see if any of my friends would trust me to borrow their video camera…. We had a guest instructor last night who was an amazing dancer – very graceful and ballerina-like (and she had killer abs!) – she gave us some good advice on arm positions which I think might really help me. I am at the point now where I can pretty much “do” all the steps and moves we’ve learned, but sometimes I don’t really feel like I’m “dancing” if that makes sense. I know I need to relax and just enjoy the music and that will help.
I might go to the library tonight, take back all my books and get some on belly dancing. I am going to stick with it, and I really want to learn more of the history and some of the different approaches. If it wasn’t a million degrees out, I’d be more excited for the library walk…okay, a million degrees is an exaggeration…weather channel says it’s 92 but feels like 98 because of humidity, and that’s with it being cloudy…the forecast high is 95 which will feel like 105 in the sun. It’s rather miserable, I must say. I wouldn’t mind if it was just a day or two, but this is I think the 10th day in a row that’s topped 90 and it’s going to stay in that range the rest of the week. It’s just exhausting and everything feels so dirty and sticky. I feel like my apartment smells because I’ve been keeping it shut up all day to keep the humidity out. Last time I had the windows open, every surface in the place felt damp and it was just gross! I hate to run the A/C but I have had to do it.
On a positive note, I am soooo looking forward to my time off. Starting Friday, I have 5 whole days off in a row! I am so, so, glad! My plans are pretty vague but go something like this: sleep late, make coffee, lay by the pool and read, do some cleaning, relax, stay up late and write, then repeat. I want to really clean my apartment top to bottom which I haven’t done since I moved in March – I’ve cleaned everything, just not all at once. I also want to do work on a Comfest collage since Jes printed some pictures for me and I’ve saving some stuff from last year that I was going to use and never did. I also want to read more, practice my dancing (that’s probably the one obligation I’ll actually keep during my “vacation” – dance class next Monday), maybe get back into the habit of running which I have been neglecting lately.
- i am:sittin' at my desk
- i feel:
hot - i like:Lily Allen "Alright Still"
Someone I met a few years ago, and I don’t remember who, made a comment to me about how I was the black sheep in my family, and I responded that I was really more of the rainbow sheep. It's quite true, and quite a funny mental picture, and I remembered the phrase yesterday, so hence the title of the post.
I had one of those random moments of wellbeing yesterday, when I was just going about my life and realized that I was happy. It’s such a nice feeling. What I was doing was standing in my narrow kitchen cleaning a bunch of fresh produce my parents had brought down from their garden, listening to an old favorite cd. I got some great veggies: green bell peppers, jalepeños, hot banana peppers, tomatoes, onions (red and yellow), potatoes, yellow crookneck squash, two varieties of zucchini (smooth dark green ones and a lighter green variety with vertical dark green stripes and dramatic ridges), sugar snap peas (only a few, sadness! I love peas!), a bit of okra, wax beans, purple beans (my favorite bean, they turn green when cooked, so it’s very easy to get them perfectly tender without overcooking), some mixed lettuces, and a giant bag of Swiss chard (both red and green). Happiness! That’s a side of my mom that I love, the side that gardens and shares the results generously. I spent a long time cleaning everything except the potatoes, onions, and tomatoes, then proceeded to fry up a bit of okra with onions, and some of the new ridged zucchini and had that as a side dish with one of the black bean burgers I’d made the night before. Quite a tasty dinner, I must say. I have a lovely fresh salad for lunch today, along with leftover veggie lasagna from lunch yesterday.
I had a good weekend, and even got a day off yesterday, unexpectedly. Friday I worked until 7:00, had some vague idea of going to a free art opening or a free show at a bar, but ended up just going to a friend’s house. We watched “For Your Consideration” which really didn’t hold my interest. Some of those movies I enjoy, others I don’t. I loved “Best in Show” and really liked “Waiting for Guffman”, but couldn’t stay interested in “A Mighty Wind” or this one. I came home around 11:00 I think and had an early night. Saturday, my mom called and said they wanted to come visit the next day so I rearranged my work schedule to get the day off – I’m doing my boss not a few favors coming up the next month or so, so it worked out okay. Otherwise I would’ve felt really bad asking for a Sunday off at such short notice. I had to run over to the library before I went to work to post the newsletter for my layout person. I’m alternately totally sick of doing the whole thing, frustrated with the lack of interest from other people, and really happy and rewarded when it does finally come together. Work was fine that day, went home, made dinner, chilled for awhile, then walked up and met friends at Union a little after 10:00 – had one drink there, stayed till 11:30 or so, then walked up to Skully’s, got in for free cuz I was “on the list” (so fun to say that and get in for free), one drink there, lots of shenanigans on stage, and a very good time. Got a ride home at about 2:00am and in bed around 2:30. Slept late Sunday, walked the dog, flurried around and did a little cleaning, then my parents showed up around 1:00. My little sister and a couple of her friends came and met us at my place. We just went to lunch and ran a few errands, but it was good to see my sister. The parents annoyed me, as usual. I mentioned my “obscure object” from college, and my mother totally changed the subject! I didn’t even say anything that couldn’t be construed as talking about a friend, but she just kind of ignored the whole conversation. And my sister went to a gay club on Saturday night – she told me not to tell mom – how funny is that? I said next time they go, they should call me. I’m just waiting to run into her some night. And one of her friends is hot. That’s totally wrong to say, but I can’t help it. After they all left, I cleaned my veggies and cooked my dinner as I mentioned, then went over to S’s new house. There is, as always, a bit of drama over there, but it was nice to hang out with her and the gay boys and the doggies for awhile. Came home around 9:30 I think and read for awhile. Still trying to get into Zanesville – it’s odd!
- i am:sitting at my desk, eating my lunch
- i feel: sleepy
- i like:anything but this stupid radio station
Why was winter warm the week you were here?
So unseasonable, the sun seemed to shine
Every day, the clouds fluttered as though it was spring,
There was no snow.
We woke each morning, late, tangled in flannel sheets,
The blanket kicked to the floor sometime
As we slept, molded together, a Sapphic sculpture,
Relief carved of flesh, beautiful like I’d never seen.
I made coffee and we sat at the table, soaking
Up the unexpected sun, soaking up the time,
So limited, so unreasonable, taking this week’s vacation
In the middle of January, so strange at 28 years old
To have fallen in love with a woman for the first time.
We met the day after Thanksgiving, both visitors
In a foreign city, I was lost, you were lonely,
We spent too many pesos that afternoon, finding our way
Through unmapped streets, a café, then a taquería, then muchas cervezas,
A shared taxi finally, until my host’s home came into view
And you kissed me goodbye, chastely, on the cheek.
“Adiós, bonita” you whispered. “Hasta tarde” I replied
and felt strangely on the verge of tears. I looked for you
every day I remained in Mexico, entertained by my friends,
enchanted with the city, but nothing compared to our wasted afternoon.
Returning home the next weekend, I found a message
From you. You had found me in the labyrinth of the Internet
And poured out your heart. I wrote back, and it began.
“Muy romántico” my friends teased, but romance
is just a fancy word for hopeless, excitement mixed
with tragedy, something beautiful, something sad, surprising
to have met you in a place neither of us had ever been before.
And now it is January and you are here, and it is all
So exotic. The night before you are to leave,
We go to dinner at a Mexican restaurant, for old time’s sake,
We joke, wondering if anything can ever match
Our first afternoon, wandering lost, warm cervezas,
Two americanas finding each other far south of our borders.
- i am:sitting in my corner at the Coffee Table
- i feel:caffeinated
- i like:JT baby!
